Response to "What There is to See at the Zoo" by Marianne Moore
Zoo usually supports two theories. One theory is that zoo is a perfect home for animals to be in it, in order to be safe and be taken care of, and the other theory is that this “perfect home” can also be associated with prison because many people believe that animals should learn how to survive alone in the nature. That's why when you get to visit a zoo, you feel a lot of mix feelings. This is what I felt when I visited a zoo last Sunday. The zoo I visited was a huge park divided into different parts and each part was reflecting a different place of the jungle. The animals that consisted the specific zoo were being matched to the right place, according to their needs. Something that I like in zoo is that gives us the opportunity to see animals that usually we would never have seen because of their origin. For example I had the chance to see penguins that we all know that only survive in cold countries. Some other animals that I had the chance to meet are gorillas, dolphins and pandas.
As long as I remember my self at school, our teachers keep telling us that studies showed that human beings are relatives with monkeys and gorillas. Now that I've seen a gorilla from a close distance I strongly support this idea, because despite the gigantic size of the gorilla and the hurry body, the facial characteristics and expressions were a lot similar with humans. Moreover gorillas have a lot more similarities with humans except from some facial expressions. An excellent example of what other similarities humans can have with a gorilla is the sweet; tender scene that a gorilla shared with us while being near his cage. A father gorilla was holding his baby in his arms kissing him in its own way now and then, until the baby fall into sleep. The particular scene reminded me a lot of a scene were a mother holds her infant in her arms. This father gorilla showed the same love as a human being would have shown to his child. I can say that a gorilla for many reasons deserve our respect but only for this scene deserves everything that someone can offer him.
Being next to the gorilla's cage means being somewhere in the middle of the zoo, at the part were the zoo reflected the jungle in its “wild form”. This wild part is formed with tall trees all over the place so the animals can satisfy their need to climb from one tree to another. Except from gorillas and monkeys, another animal has the same need of climbing and by that I mean the panda. I have always think panda as the favorite animal of children. It has a sweet face and looks like our teddy bears; small ;black and white fur and big eyes. No wonder why all children wanted to give him a hug while one girl even asked her mum if she could take him home with her. A Panda can easily make your day.
When you finish your visit to the “wild part” , a small bus comes to take you to the other side of the zoo which is a 15 minutes ride. This other part welcomes you with a huge plastic dolphin dressed with a costume, in front of a gate. Above this gate some letters draw the attention of the visitors. The letter were forming the word aquarium. From the moment I saw those letters I couldn't wait to get in, because I have always been attracted to the sea world, but nothing would have prepared me for the amazing things that I saw from the moment I passed the gate. Dolphins were everywhere in the swimming pool, sometimes swimming under the water and some other times jumping so high above the water. All of them were having a gray colour almost silver and all of them smooth and shining. The most incredible thing that I've experienced though is that they allowed us to swim among them and even take photos. My favourite photo is the photo were a dolphin put his mouth on my cheek. Dolphins were so friendly among humans, in contrast with other animals and that makes me wonder if they realize their difference from us.
My visit to the zoo came to the end and along with a great joy, I have also dirived a whole new theory as far as concern the animals. Animals give so many to humanity and to the whole planet in general and for this they deserve the same attention that us people deserve, because after all, animals look like humans a lot more that we thought. A strong argument for this is the incident that I described above with the father gorilla. Finishing I would like to add that while I was visiting the animals in the zoo, I sometimes felt bad for being free instead of a cage like them; but trying to think this fact, as a positive thing and that this is a way to protect the animals from nature I asked my self: “people, live in a dangerous world but no one came to put us in a cage why we do this to animals? Do they really deserve this kind of security?”
This essay about zoo by Dora Diomedous shows to us, what animals you can see at the zoo in contrast with the human beings and what the zoo is basically. Of course we all know what the zoo is. In my opinion Dora is trying to show us in a deeper way the importance of the zoo, especially the animal’s importance and what people feel about them.
ReplyDeleteTo start with, this essay has a good structure. She made her introduction in such a way that shows the reader what she is going to talk about. Then she uses one paragraph for each animal (gorilla, panda and dolphins), in her main body and then, the conclusion, which summarized what she had said before. I think that she should have used some linking words to make her essay more interesting and richer, but even though she finally moves the reader directly from one point to another. Moreover, Dora showed to us that there is a motion in her writing, from the introduction until the conclusion. She described very well the scenes but in my opinion she could have do it in a more rich way, describing more the animals in a more detailed way, with a different vocabulary. Her syntax was quite well, except from a few phrases such as in the 4th paragraph when she wrote’ the letter were forming the world aquarium’ she must have written the letters to be correct, and the word ‘dirived’ in her conclusion should be derived.
Also, I mostly like, was at her conclusion when she summarizes her essay and her last sentence-question when she wrote: ‘people live in a dangerous world but no one came to put us in a cage why we do this to animals? Do they really deserve this kind of security?” This was a very basic question that maybe no one had really wondered if is better for the animals live at the zoo or leaving them survived alone. All in all, that was a very nice essay despite some points, but as we all know no one is better!
thank you elena for your comment and for the suggestions that you made on my essay.I must say that I agree with you when you said that this essay could be richer, and one goal that I wrote in my "statement of goals" was to enrich my vocabulary including my linking words. Also you have right about my spelling mistake on the word "derived" and about my grammar mistake on the word letter instead of letters. Moreover I would also like to say something about the suggestion that you did,that you would prefered my descriptions in more detail. I thought it also while I was reading my essay but on the other hand, this was a 800 words essay and I was a bit concerned not to write a lot more that I was allowed and make my essay boring, but yes I could have write some more details . All in all elena, thank you very much for reading my essay, and I'm glad that you found it nice!:)
ReplyDeleteDear Dora,
ReplyDeleteI would like to tell that you have shown us a great journey into the zoo. You gave us a good description about animals behaviour in contrast with human beings and overall what a zoo is.
To start with, your essay is well structured.I like the way you introduced your topic as you said that zoo is 'a perfect home 'or 'this perfect home can also be assosiated with prison because many people beleive that animals should learn how to survive alone in the nature.'You state clearly what you are going to talk about. Then, you show us your own experience of having a visit in a zoo. You as a writer describes us all the images that you have seen through the animals, for example the joy that you have from the dolphins, panda and gorillas ( dolphins with gray colour almost silver and all of them smooth and shining, panda with sweet face and looks like our teddy bears, small, black and white fur with big eyes or the mama gorilla hold her infant in her arms).
Moreover,entering the zoo, you have shown us a nice description for the animals.In my opinion, you have described only the images that were more enjoyable to you,for instance you picked up only the pleasure moments.Instaed of having a small paragraph showing us the contrast between human beings that zoo is still remained as "a prison" for animals because they should learn how to survive in the nature. Also, you had few syntax erros, for example the word "were" instead of 'where' or the phrase " the letter were forming the world aquarium'it should be the letters and the word 'dirived' it should be derived.
Aii in all, I like the way that you ended your conclusion. Especially, when you used the questions "people live in a dangerous world but no one came to put us in a cage why we do this to animals?Do they really deserve this kind of security? I think you put these questions in order to make us more sensible with the animals being in the zoo. To think if they should be in the zoo or stay alone in the nature. That's all from me.I still think that is a nice essay.
Dora, your essay was quite good.The use of language generally speaking was good and clear. But,there was something missing in your description.I believe the element that was missing was the lack of emotion.To specify;when we read a written text we do not only see if the essay had a good structure, nor if the narration was at a good standard. Each written text brings out towards the reader a variety of emotions. Joy, frustration ,disappointment ,erge and so on and so forth. But,it is up to the writer to transfer these feelings in his writings and automatically towards his readers.Even thought you had put down your own thoughts and ideas in your essay straight forward, it was not engouh to engage your readers to support you , feel you or disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, you manage to do that in your last paragraph. It was the best part in your entire essay since, you raised up an issue which troubles the mind. Indeed we,humans, live in dangarous times and yet no one has ever thought to draw the line.
* dangerous
ReplyDeleteDear Dora,
ReplyDeleteyour essay it's very nice,good structure and with strong conclusion. While i was reading it I thought that you take us a tour to the perfect zoo but where is that zoo that you wend last sunday? As i know in Cyprus we dont have the opportunity to visit such a great zoo that you describe. Your description about gorillas it's too emotional.The scene that you described of gorillas it was absoluteley perfect but, i would like to read more about pandas. You empasize a lot to gorillas but as you said pandas are the favourite animal for childrens you just describe it only in three lines. I liked very much that you put your own ideas straight forward.
I bieleve that your conclusion is the best part of your essay as your question make us think and gives the possibility to the readers to think differences human vs animals and of course why we are separated so much. We leave in luxury houses and animals to the cages, human can be more dangerous than animals and you support this idea great.
Dear Dora,
ReplyDeleteI believe that all in all its a good essay but you wrote an essay about what you saw last Sunday at the zoo and i was expecting to read an essay that would be a response to what we read in class.
You didnt mention anything that you might have found similar to what Marianne Moore wrote in her essay and you neither analyzed anything that had to do with Moores essay.
Finally i would like to say that your essay was good,well structured with lots of details and lots of original ideas about the zoos.
Dear Dora,
ReplyDeleteTo begin with, the first sentence of your essay you set up was a quite gruffly to begin your introduction paragraph. It would be better if you wrote an interesting description about the zoo.
In order to provide which is the topic you going to discuss rather than start directly. Even though, your writing form was quite comprehensibly of what you say but you didn’t avoid the long sentences. So that, you force the readers do not take a breath. It will be better if you set your experience to the zoo in the follow paragraph to have more harmony in your text.
However, in the second paragraph you gave emphasis to the gorilla’s similarities and relationship between humans rather than any kind of animals that you mentioned. It’s simply, of the scene which a gorilla father was held his baby in his arms that was an emotional and toughing.
Despite all, was an interesting well structure essay because you succeed to tour us of what can someone see at the zoo by your own perspective. I like mostly, your conclusion because you sensitize the readers that they restricted their freedom of animals by put it them in cage.
Good job Dora
=)
Dora I totally agree with the first lines at the beginning of your essay. I have also mix feelings when I visit a zoo because I think that the animals should be free and not in a cage but in the other hand I think that animals are protected there, especially the endangered species. You describe your visit to the zoo very well and with details that made me imagine everything you are describing. I especially liked the part when you say about the gorilla and the baby and I agree with the point that you make there. I like your conclusion and some phrases that you use like “animals give so many to humanity and to the whole planet in general and for this they deserve the same attentions that us people deserve, because after all, animals look like humans a lot more than we thought. “ Your conclusion is great.
ReplyDeleteI thought that Dora approached the issue of zoo animals in a really honest way, especially when she mentioned her 'mixed feelings' when debating whether animals deserve to be locked up like 'prisoners' or whether humans treat them with respect by keeping these vulnerable creatures sheltered (from the dangers of the wild). Dora gives a multicultural feel to her essay, by explaining that animals she observed, even though of different origin, all have the same home (i.e. the zoo) ; and this in turn is an eye-opening experience for the visitor. I think that Dora tried to draw our attention to the fact that gorillas have a lot in common with the human species, so as to prove to us that we ought to empathise with them (irrelevant of whether they lead a distinct lifestyle in a zoo environment) and treat them with consideration, in order for them to have the chance to raise their young ones with utmost devotion and care (as in her example of the father gorilla holding his baby in his arms). However I found that Dora repeated several of the ideas pertinent to the similarities between humans and their gorilla counterparts, and also provided her readers with too many details about gorillas in general. It was interesting no doubt, to read Dora's description of the gorilla's territory at the zoo, which it seems resembles their natural habitat, and is purposely depicted as 'wild form' as a away of reminding the reader that many of us may be predisposed to viewing animals (and our closest mammal cousin at that) as being savage or primitive, and this might make it easier for us to physically or emotionally abuse them. One is made to understand that Dora has experienced a sense of guilt when contemplating as to why these harmless zoo animals have to live most of their lives behind bars. She wraps up her essay in a truly memorable way, which comes across as being somewhat ironic by questioning man’s true intentions for confining certain animals to a zoo. It is almost as though we are molly-cuddling them and forcing our will on such helpless creatures as they, who supposedly are in need of civilized humans' security. Dora highlights her belief that humans do indeed effect the futile lives of these animals and it is naturally up to us to take responsibility of our actions towards them, which could at the end of the day cause them more harm / pain than good. In other words, we have no right 'to put them in a cage' any more than we have to put ourselves in a cage ! Dora therefore gives a humanistic note to her essay at the very end. The main aspect of Dora's essay that I didn't approve of, was the way she kept dividing her essay according to the theories that she had derived upon visiting the zoo. It felt at times as if I as reading a scientific report and that spoilt the essence of the essay. Overall though, I have to acknowledge that Dora presented us with four well-structured and informative paragraphs, had only a few spelling mistakes and some syntax errors that everyone makes now and again. Her critical arguments were well supported and definitely made a strong point (i.e. carried a deeper meaning) and most importantly left the reader thinking deontologically about how we ought to perceive animals in general (i.e. in their man-made home - the zoo - or in their natural surroundings).
ReplyDelete