Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What There is to See at the Zoo (James Response Essay)

This essay by Marianne Moore describes some of the things that you can see at the zoo when you go to it. She is trying to make the point that the zoo is full of interesting things that should be respected and that we should be interested in them. Fine. But who didn’t know that already? Who hasn’t been to a zoo? Who doesn’t already know that animals are different from people and that it is good to be interested in animals? It seems to me that the writer Marianne Moore is trying to make a deeper point, but using simple ideas like a child’s trip to the zoo to make them.

So what are the points Marianne Moore is making? Firstly, she wants to tell her readers about some of the animals that she sees in the zoo. She tells us that zebras are symmetrical and that peacocks have beautiful tails, that tigers have stripes and that giraffes are examples of “marking.” It is the next paragraph, however, which shows us the method she intends to use all the way through. Having given these examples, she then draws something like a moral from them when she says that “Such colors and contrasts educate the eye and stir the imagination.” In my view this is the first point that she is making.

There are more points like this in the essay. She uses many examples to show that animals are interesting, that they are examples of being adapted to their environment, and that humans have to change their behaviour when dealing with animals. This all leads up to the final paragraph, which works as a conclusion. Here, Moore states her belief that we have both privileges in a zoo (because we are allowed to see these fantastic creatures) and also obligations (not to feed them, not to disturb them). It seems to me that Moore is also implying that she has a wider idea of how humans should interact with non-humans. If a zoo imposes these obligations, then don’t these obligations also exist anywhere that humans come into contact with the natural world? Here Moore delicately expresses an environmentalist idea that would not be generally accepted until much later in history. Now we know how badly the world is affected by destruction of animals’ habitats, Moore’s idea is more important than ever.

But it still seems to me that her way of saying this is quite boring and stupid. She could have done something more interesting and still made the same points.

30 comments:

  1. Mackay repeated many phrases for more than one time and his responce to the exact essay was a kind of "cruel" responce. I think he tried to give his own opinion as better as he could, but at the same time he showed how much he didn't like the particular essay. Although, he wrote some short sentences like "sign posting" as we have mentioned in class for Moore's essay. He could had a better structure and vocabulary also. Nevertheless, I think he could refered with more original phrases and clear structure. Moreover, he could organised his responce a much better. Also, my opinion is that he clearly wrote his paragraphs and in each of it he tried to be as convinsing as he could for his personal respond essay. Of course it could be better. Go ahead Mackay you can achieve a better writing.

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  2. I agree with Xenia and what she said and also Mackay show us to the coclusion that he dosen't like Moore's essay with what he wrote. But also I agree with Mackay when he wrote to his responce essay that Moore's essay could be more intresting that it was and for me to make a nice introduction that would make us be intrested more.

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  3. I believe that Xenia is right, and also I didn't like the fact that he uses the word stupid. Of course Moore could made it more interesting with smaller sentences and vocabulary which would be more understanding but Mackay could say it in another way. I liked the fact that Mackay used guestions to make the essay more interesting and also I agree with the points that he made. Moreover, if Moore wrote a more interesting and better introduction and conclusion the essay automatically would be much better I think.

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  4. In my opinion Mackay judge Moore's essay a lit bit of invidiously in whole his essay because in the conclusion said that was "stupid". Although, was his opinion to say whatever he think but he could be said that in more kindly way. What is more,the structure of his essay is not good enough because is not good developing. For instance, he didn't use any of the linking sentence so that he create a coherence to his essay.The introduction is not good form the way that his began. I like that he is convincing in the way that his express his opinion.Moreover,his vocabulary could be more rich and some syntax in the sentences to be more understanding to the readers.In the conclusion,he should be write that the essay wasn't interesting for his choice rather that said that was "stupid".
    In contrary, Moore's essay was a lit bit childish the way that she described the animal shape in details.The introduction of her essay could be better and not start with one particular animal description. She could write for example what does the zoo can be attract the people to come and visit it. It would be better if her structures of her sentences was shorter so that make the readers have more good attitude to read it.

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  5. I alike Alexia, believe that Mackay's system of asking questions, is quite effective, because it makes the reader focus on the main element's of Marianne Moore's essay ; written ofcourse by someone with great sensitivity towards creatures of all kind. Moore, in my opinion wasn't interested in whether her essay was written according to a 'perfect' outline, as we are often taught in Literature classes. She simply wanted to share her feelings about how much we humans can learn just by observing animals in a nature reserve or 'zoo' which in itself further represents the notion of diversity, in an ever-changing world. Sensitivity, is something that all of us ought to show, regardless of whether he or she is an academic or just a reader, which is why I agree with Xenia's comment that was a in some way or another James' essay was a "cruel" response. No one ought to call someone's literary work 'boring' or 'stupid' , since every essay has a style of its own, so from then on its up to us to skim out the parts which make sense to us and interpret its core ideas or meaning according to our own or even other people's. Admittedly, I have to say that as an ambitious writer and student of the ADVANCED EXPOSITORY WRITING class, if I were Moore, I would probably have organise this very same essay in a rather different way. I am convinced that it would have been better for Moore to have written an eye-catching introduction, in which she discussed the exquisite design or beauty of all animals alike, but at the same time warned about our role as visitors at the zoo and the fact that the we must as act in a caring and fair way whilst in these innocent animals' presence, in order to maintain their safety and well-being. That's why I whole-heartedly support James' viewpoint that the essay makes us aware of 'how badly the world is affected by destruction of animals’ habitats' and not surprisingly that ' Moore’s idea is more important than ever.' Moore nonetheless, ought to have had a stronger conclusion, which would leave a lasting impression on her literary audience, and anyone else interested in the issue of fragile wildlife and man's interaction with animals in general. It seems that she wasted all her efforts on long-winding descriptions about the various talents which animals are capable of, Instead, she should have restructured her most crucial arguments into more compact paragraphs, in which the one idea would flow into the next - thus granting the essay a more interesting tone. As far as Mackay's response essay is concerned. I find that Fotinie was right in saying that his vocaulary wasn't up to standards, and furthermore I feel that he hasn't developed his second body paragraph as much as he ought to (i.e. quoting what is mentioned in a text is not enough in a response essay, which is based on a reader's personal opinion or reaction to a certain work of literaure).

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  6. The first thing I would like to say is:
    Did you like the topic which Moore has chosen for her essay? Was it applauding to you? Describing the zoo in a precise and poetic use of language is not,in my hobble opinion, a topic that could draw the attention of readers.
    Speaking only for myself,I found Moore's essay too much.She could have chosen a more interesting topic to discuss and elaborate.
    In addition, the use of language is very advance and detailed and I believe that worked against her.She put herself in the risk to be misunderstood by her readers.
    Moore's essay might have been slightly better if she had simplified her writing
    techniques.
    Mackay,in his response essay is being a bit harsh on Moore.I am able to understand his sayings,but it is wiser to be gentler when it comes to commenting other people's creations.
    On the other hand,sometimes it is better to be open and upfront.Praising something you mainly disliked leaves no room towards other's to improve, as they become assure and passive.

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  7. James critic about Marianne’s Moore essay has a good structure because he explains analytical the benefits and the negatives of the essay. Firstly he tries to analyze the essay in a way to make us understand Marianne’s way of writing using Introduction, Main Body, and Conclusion. Also, it seems to agree with Marianne’s goal to respect animals, but not with the way she explains things. I totally agree with Fotinie that James could say what he thinks for the essay in a more kindly way and not insulting by uses the word ‘stupid’. His critic could be better if he explains more what he wanted to say in his conclusion about how Marianne’s essay could be more interesting. I also find it interesting when he used questions in his introduction as Alexia said. But the most interesting part I liked most in his essay is what he wrote about ‘how badly the world is affected by destruction of animals habitats’ as Tamara said too.
    All in all Marianne’s essay could be better if she uses an introductory paragraph to give us specific details of what we are going to read. Also, the sentences could be shorter and not too poetic. There were too many paragraphs and too many scientific words. Moreover, it could be more interesting if she used more simple words and not too much description. After all I think she make it clearly that her main goal was to respect animals by showing to us humans- animals similarities. She tried to make us involved in their world and show us how they live. Finally there is a motion in Marianne’s essay which take us from the start about how animals look until the conclusion which summarizes what she said before.

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  8. First of all, I would like to start with Moore's essay by saying that it was a bit dull because of the scientific terms used, there was too much poetry in it, long sentences and too many paragraphs. As far as Jame's essay, he sounded too critic over her essay by saying how boring and stupid it was and other strong critisms. He might have been too cruel as Xenia said and other fellow students supported but he has the right to express his feelings and thoughts about an essay. I also agree with Tamara who stated that no one can call one's essay boring and stupid because each person differs in writing style and expressing thoughts. I would like to express the fact, though, that Moore's essay would be much better if it consisted an interesting introduction that would stimulate our sensitivity. Her point might have been clear in the last paragraph like James said and indeed she focused too much on amimals' capabilities as creatures. She could have also mentioned some examples of people who behave cruelly to animals. As for James' structure of essay, he sounded too strong but disorganised he might have not planned his essay at all so he started writing straight away. I could consider this essay as a brainstorming essay and not a response essay. When I read James' essay I feelt he was being too critical, ironic and sarcastic to Moore. I may be wrong but that is the kind of feeling James gave me after reading his essay.

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  9. James,I would prefare to don't ask so many questions to your response. Actually to your introduction you uses questions that are too easy to answer. Maybe you have been at a zoo many times but me and my class i bieleve that we didn't have the opportunity to go at a zoo that has tiger, zebra, giraffe and peack because in Cyprus we don't have such a great Zoo. However it seems interesting to me Moore's essay because she describes us zoo as a in heaven and of course it wasn't necessary to call her ideas "stupid" because it seems cruel to us.We said to don't judge others essay in that way and you do it. I respect everyones opinion and yours also but i think you shouldn't be so "bad" with Moore and at the end of the day " I bieleve that Moore wrote with scientific understanding as to New Critisism and Russian Formalism period that with that way they tried to make literature more respect. Moore is trying to send the message of "RESPECT" animals. There are humans that they don't respect animals at all and they even killed them so, is good that she is compare animals with humans cause sometimes there are persons that they really must to understand to dont be so cruel to animals.
    James I like that you tried to convince us that Moores essay is not so good, that's mean that you have the effort of writing good responces essay "but" tried next time to dont be so cruel to others essay because "nobody is perfect".

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  10. I agree with Tamara and Fotinie that Mackay vocabulary wasn't up to standards. He could do better standards of his response and make a small summary to the conclusion no just 3 lines. Of course it was good response essay and like all of us we can do better!!!

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  11. Moore's essay was too much for me because I think that she used a lot details for her description by the zoo!! Also, she wrote many short sentences which she could write better. Altough, she used a hard vocabulary, not a clear one!! mackay I agree with tamara and fotini that your vocabulary wasn't up to standard!! I've mentioned my opinion above!!! thaaanks

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  12. It seems to me that James's essay has good structure, but his vocabulary isn't appropriate for a response to Moores essay, he was a bit too harsh with his critique, even though he is just expressing his personal view about the essay he cant just say that someone elses essay is stupid. Moreover i agree with evi that Moores essay is dull because she uses too many paragraphs to describe only a few animals and she does that with scientific words and long sentences. Whereas she could make smaller sentences and she could have used a more understandable vocabulary that her reader could identify with what she felt when she saw all those animals. We cant identify with all her scientific terms of describing the animals.
    Moore could also have started her essay with a more general view of the zoo and the animals rather than jump right into the point and start describing the peacocks.
    She should also have described more animals, because after all zoos have more animlas than the ones that Moore has described, and she could have accomplished that if she described things in a more "down to earth" and simple vocabulary. Moore didnt think about who her essay was destined for to read and she used a vocabulary that was difficult for her readers to understand and sympathize with her feelings and description.

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  13. James response essay to Marianne Moore’s essay is very close to what I think about it, but there are some points that I don’t agree.
    First of all, I liked the way he express his opinion by asking us questions. This puts us in a situation of asking ourselves about this essay. Secondly, I liked the idea of repeating phrases from the essay because in that way he convince us about the points that Marianne Moore is making. Thirdly, the structure of his essay is well formed.
    However they are things that I didn’t like. Reading an essay that has the word ‘firstly’ inside means that ‘secondly’ will continue but in James essay didn’t. Also, I don’t believe that a woman with a Prize of her writing is ‘stupid’. Moore could write her essay better by using different introduction and conclusion but we can’t call her stupid. Furthermore, I don't believe that Moore was trying to tell us about what we can see in the zoo. Of course we know how animals look like and I am asking you a question. When you visit a zoo you described to others the animals that you have seen in Moore’s way? I don’t believe we did that. Moore is doing that for appreciating and respecting animals.
    James essay is a good response but I believe that it could be better if he had added what was the best part of this essay that he want forget.

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  14. Evantia said that Moore should have described more animals and I want to make a point on that. I believe that she had a reason of choosing these particular animals. Peacocks are the most colorful animals, tigers are the most dangerous animals, zebras can be recognized for their uniqueness stripes, giraffes are the tallest animals and elephants are the largest mammals in the kingdom and gorillas are very close to human characteristics so what’s the point of telling us about cat, dogs, cows, snakes, ants, and other animals since these animals are so unique and important?

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  15. Melina, I liked your last paragraph and I am strongly agree with you!!!

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  16. I agree with James opinion that, Moore through her essay wants to pass the message to her readers to care about the animals and respect them. I don’t agree with him though when he supports that Moore is making simply a description of what can someone see at the zoo. I believe that Moore in her essay wants to tour her readers to the zoo, through her eyes. She wants the readers to realize what fascinates her about the animals. Moore’s vivid description can make the readers realize how much she loves what she sees, and probably change the way that the readers view the animals. It is obvious though, that sometimes, Moore overdoes it in her descriptions, but this is probably due to the fact that, when people in general like something, they tend to overreact in their descriptions about it. Moore’s vocabulary was hard to follow at times, and her essay could be more interesting if she added an introductory paragraph, and structured her last sentence in the conclusion in a better way. James has a very interesting introductory paragraph in which he states clearly his opinion about Moore’s essay, but his conclusion needs improvement. He could find another word to write instead of “stupid” as several classmates in their comments said, and also write a few sentences of what he thinks could make Moore’s essay more interesting.

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  17. Alexandra, I strongly believe that her essay would be a lot more interesting for me if she described in it more animals with less scientific detail. She used big sentences, many paragraphs and difficult vocabulary describing over and over again the same animals which made the essay a little bit boring to read. I, as a reader didnt find her approach to the subject "zoo" easy to understand nor identify with.

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  18. I agree totally with Evi when she said that James essay is disorganized and brainstorming. The reason is that the way that he wrote his essay is informal and unprepared that is looks like what ever he thought he was writing down.James express his self in the verbally way rather than follow written structure.Therefore, whole his essay need a revision so that it will be more understandable.I agree again with Evis view that James was critical, ironic to Moore's essay. Although, I mentioned before that James judgment was rude I want to emphasize that none is perfect in the writing even those who are famous writer. Thereby, when we judge someone we should be more gently to other people's creations as Melina said before. I believe strongly, that anyone who is quite good on something we should be congratulate for his effort so that he will not disappointed or discourage his feelings. Therefore, each time it will be better and improve his skills. If I were the person who wrote this essay and James told me that was stupid my writing I couldn't be confident and ambitious again in my writing. So that we have to appreciate the effort of someone rather than to make them feel discourage.

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  19. Alexandra I like the technique that you think of each animal that may Moore used these
    particular species. On the other hand, I believe that all creatures of the animals that there exist are unique and important in this earth whether are beautiful or ugly. I agree with Froso when she mentioned than may many of us we didn’t have the chance to visit a zoo with such a variety of animals. The reason is that in Cyprus the only zoo we have in Limasol is not include of rare species of animals that people have never seen in their live. I agree with Niko when he said that he disagree with James that he support that Moore made a simply a description of what can someone see at the zoo. Moore used a scientific terms of describe the animals in such in details even if we are not familiar at all as Evanthia said above. Although, she did that for those who never have the chance to visit such a marvelous landscape.
    Moreover, Moore’s essay emphasize to care and respect about the animals. Nowadays, there are a lot of people who are idiot and they maltreat and kill animals to earn gain. That’s why the usage of vocabulary that she used is rich about the shape of animals and appearance.

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  20. Come on guys we know that Moore wrote that essay in a way we read last time on purpose so that we discuss and learn some things. Also James wrote a response essay on purpose so that we learn to make comments on others essays develop as good critics :) We know that a good writer writes good essays and a University Professor writes organised essays with University level vocabulary. Imagine what kind of essayS Moore and James could write. :) However i believe that each one of us can critisize one's essay respecting each one's opinions on a subject although James was exaggerating a lot using a high school vocabulary where as Moore used a too scientific vocabulary.

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  21. First of all, I would like to say that i agree with James point that says that Moore wants to make a deeper point but she's using very simple ideas to make that point. That was one of my first thoughts when we read the essay in class. I think that Marianne Moore could do so many things to improve her essay and make it more easy for us to read it and understand it. Firstly, she used many scientific words in the essay, secontly she wrote too many paragraphs and to long sentences and finally the essay was to poetic. Apart from all of the above she also did a lot of description and not enough argument and she didn't personalise her self at all as we mentioned in class. I believe that if she used more simplier words-and avoid the too much science- write less paragraphs, shorter sentences, personalise her self and avoid the poetic part her essay would be a lot better. As for James responce essay i could say that was well-structured and i agree with the most comments written above. However i thiink the conclusion was to brief and the vocabulary he used was not very appropriate.

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  22. The Moore’s essay is about the animal at the zoo which has been commented on that. The comment can be investigated three from three points of view:
    AT first, the general comment has been written clearly in terms of vocabulary that one can get it quickly.
    Second, it has been investigated this essay from 3 point. But it didn’t have enough support to convince reader.
    Finally, in third paragraph the poit has been repeated again and again.
    I believe, In Moore’s essay in spite of more useful information and advice of animal it was boring.

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  23. I agree with all my students about what they said. What Fotini said about the ctitique that James did on Moore's essay that it was "stupid" I agree with her. James could found a better way of saying something and about the inroduction of Moor's essay it could be start with more intresting way and not just descriping an animal. Also I would like to say to Evi that had right about what is said that James wrote this responding essay in order to develop our critics by doing comments but according to what James wrote we have to do a critique on that, so based on what we had read we made comments that it suits on that specific responding essay.

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  24. I agree with evi iosif. Moore and James can writer far better than any of us. But, this whole idea of finding mistakes in people that already have proven themselves over and over again , is hilarious. Hence, I must admit it is amuzing and educational at the same time.

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  25. Moreover,I think we should all try to see each written text beyond what seems to be quite obvious.Sometimes, words carry out a louder meaning when we look underneath.

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  26. I really liked what Melina Iordanou said: words carry out a louder meaning when we look underneath. Read between the lines.... :)

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  27. In my opinion, James is quite harsh with Marianne’s Moore essay “ What there is to see at the zoo.” James is condemn Marianne’s Moore essay in the sense that is too poetic. She uses a slightly complex language with a scientific understanding. She talks all about the animals without to make an argument for them.
    First of all, I agree with Jame’s argument that Moore wants to tell her readers about some of the animals that she sees in the zoo. She starts the essay with a descriptive way of giving an order of importance to animals. She gives examples for the symmetry and the design of the animals, but also what actions can take in the zoo. I also agree with James for a phrase “ Such colors and contrasts educate the eye and stir the imagination.” With that phrase she could make a lot of arguments or an introductory paragraph without making such description to the animals. This strategy could make the essay quite boring without interesting. Especially, when she comes up with the last paragraph, she uses long sentences and ideas in order to show the humans nature respect to animals.
    On the other, I disagree with Jame’s statement that she uses many examples to show human beings behaviour into animals. In my opinion, in the last paragraphs she makes a comparison to human examples of using some interested phrases. One phrase is “ An essential rule of safe living is well illustrated by animals: work when you work, play when you play and rest when you rest” that deals with animals world.She wants to show the responsibility of human beings, to show respect to the animals.
    All in all, Marianne’s essay is quite boring and not " stupid" as James said in his response, in the sense that she adds a lot of paragraphs on details that are described by animals.
    Evanthia i agree with you that Moore's essay is dull because she uses too many paragraphs to describe animals and she does with scientific words and long sentences.
    Niko i agree with you to the point that Moore wants to see thew zoo different through her eyes,to be amazed from her description.
    Froso i also agree with you that Moore wants to pass the message of having 'respect'to the animals,to think that we have responsibility.

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  28. In my opinion, James is quite harsh with Marianne’s Moore essay “ What there is to see at the zoo.” James is condemn Marianne’s Moore essay in the sense that is too poetic. She uses a slightly complex language with a scientific understanding. She talks all about the animals without to make an argument for them.
    First of all, I agree with Jame’s argument that Moore wants to tell her readers about some of the animals that she sees in the zoo. She starts the essay with a descriptive way of giving an order of importance to animals. She gives examples for the symmetry and the design of the animals, but also what actions can take in the zoo. I also agree with James for a phrase “ Such colors and contrasts educate the eye and stir the imagination.” With that phrase she could make a lot of arguments or an introductory paragraph without making description to the animals. This strategy could make the essay quite boring without interesting. Especially, when she comes up with the last paragraph, she uses long sentences and ideas in order to show the humans nature respect to animals. She could end up the paragraph without all these details and goes up to the point which is 'respect'.
    On the other, I disagree with Jame’s statement that she uses many examples to show human beings behaviour into animals. In my opinion, in the last paragraphs she makes a comparison to human examples of using some interested phrases. One phrase is “ An essential rule of safe living is well illustrated by animals: work when you work, play when you play and rest when you rest” that deals with animals world.She wants to show the as human beings should have respect, to have responsibility to animals.
    All in all, Marianne’s essay is quite boring and not so 'stupid'as James said to his response, in the sense that she adds a lot of paragraphs on details that are described by animals.
    Evanthia i agree with you that Moore's essay is dull because she uses too many paragraphs to describe animals and she does with scientific words and long sentences.
    Niko i also agree with you to the point thta Moore wants to tour her readers in the zoo through her eyes.She wants through her description of the animals to have an amazed trip.
    Alexandra i strongly agree with you to the point that we can't call Moore's essay stupid. And i haven't thought about what you say that Moore's purpose through her essay is to appreciate the animals and respect them as we visit them in the zoo.

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  29. To begin with, I liked Marianne Moore's essay unlike James who clearly expressed that he didn't like it. I found a lot of positive things in her essay as far as her writing is concerned but I also noticed some things that I would rather be different. First of all I strongly disagree with James and Fotinie for saying that Moore's description was childish. To the contrary I found her description on animals rich in vocabulary and also so emphasized on the beauty of the animals that immediately draw some very nice images in reader's head. Actually this is also the reason that I don't find this essay boring and stupid, which I also happen to find this characterizations by James,“cruel” as Xenia said in previous comments. To move on, I could not disagree with Tamara and James that Moore's idea -that the world is affected by the animals and reverse- is very important and according to me realistic. Furthermore in my opinion the topic of this essay has a very important message that has the responsibility to alert the readers in order to see animals in a different perspective as far as their beauty and usefulness are concerned. In other words the essay carries out the message that people need to respect the animals because as Froso mentioned in one of her comments, there are humans that do not show or they do not know how or why to respect animals. On the other hand as I said before there are some things in the essay that I would rather to be different. For example I didn't like the fact that the writer used so many paragraphs, I think she could have made her point by writing four big paragraphs rather than nineteen small. Another thing that I didn't like was that although I enjoyed her essay because of the nice descriptions I found it a bit confusing in some points. At this point I come to agree with my classmate Fotinie who also support that if the sentences were shorter then the essay would have been more understandable.
    All in all I liked Moore's essay despite some points that I didn't, and I feel the same with Jame's essay. In his essay I liked the fact that there was a clear opinion and arguments to support that opinion but I didn't like the fact that was so criticized towards someone else's work.

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